bisexual men | Mental Queerness

“Nobody is actually bisexual.” “Bisexual people are just not ready to accept that they’re gay.” “People are only bisexual now because it’s cool.” Unfortunately, these are real arguments that far too many bisexual people have been forced to endure.

Bisexual people are often confronted with discrimination from both members of the LGBTQ community and the heterosexual community.

We have to embrace our bisexual sisters, brothers and non-binary relatives in order to build a genuinely inclusive community. So, here are 7 of my favorite bisexual characters on TV!

1) Rosa Diaz, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This bad ass detective came out as bisexual in 2017 and all the queer girls swooned. While Rosa’s sexuality was immediately accepted by her coworkers, her family wasn’t as understanding. Both Rosa’s mother and father insisted that her bisexuality wasn’t real and that she’d end up married to a man in the end. Despite loving their child deeply, Rosa’s parents couldn’t understand the concept of choosing to be with a woman if you could be with a man.

2) Rich Dotcom, Blindspot

The TV show Blindspot is quickly becoming one of my favorites (and it’s not just because I find Jaimie Lauren Alexander stunningly beautiful.) The plot is riveting, the characters are diverse and sexual orientation isn’t seen as a big deal. This is most noticeable in the portrayal of Rich Dotcom, a notorious criminal, who is openly attracted to both men and women. When he’s not hitting on Jane Doe, Alexander’s character, he’s flirting with FBI agent Kurt Weller. Rich makes no attempt to obscure his sexual orientation and openly discusses his escapades regardless of who’s around. He’s unapologetically bisexual and I’m here for it.

3) Kat Sandoval, Madam Secretary

Sara Ramirez, who recently came out as bisexual herself, is no stranger to queer characters. She played Callie Torres on Grey’s Anatomy and now assumes the role of Kat Sandoval in Madam Secretary. Kat is a strong, openly bisexual woman who refuses to be limited by gender binaries. In fact, Ramirez says she hopes her character can “continue normalizing, strengthening, and celebrating these types of inclusive outcomes in the world.”

Continue reading “7 Best Bisexual Characters on TV” →

A little over a year ago, I met a guy who made me experience something I had never felt for another man before – attraction.

I was shocked, bewildered, and confused. I had never in my life even considered the possibility of being anything but straight. And yet, here we were. After accepting that I was a bisexual male, I began wondering if I should start presenting differently.

I would frequently wonder, “How gay should I be acting?” “Is this gay enough?” “Is this too gay?”

This internal dialogue reminds me of a scene in Love, Simon. (Spoilers, if you somehow haven’t seen it yet) The main character, Simon Spier, is outed by a classmate during winter break. The morning he’s set to return to school, Simon finds himself trying on all sorts of different outfits, all while Googling “how to dress like a gay guy”.

Simon’s trepidation and uncertainty on how to present, is reminiscent of the struggles bisexual men face on a daily basis. For me, I wanted my outward expression to convey my interest in men without convincing people that I batted entirely for the other team. Considering my bisexuality made me acutely aware of how I walked, talked, dressed, and even wrote. It was extremely difficult to find a way to present as equally gay and straight.

But none of it really mattered.

Continue reading “What does a bisexual man look like?” →